“Starter Wife” Got to get a Life?

I watched the first episode of the “Starter Wife”. Believe me, when I tell you, I had to force myself to not turn it off. It was pure torture trying to get through it! If you had asked me, I also couldn’t have picked out even one character that I liked. Even if I was trying to save one from a firing line! That’s sad, very sad. starterwifeimage.jpg

The episode was full of nasty, self absorbed people that obsessed about who they were with and how much money they could make off of them. It’s definitely not realistic of the average life but probably too close to home in Hollywood. Since I’m the gullible merciful person that I am, I gave the second episode a shot. I had such a bad taste in my mouth from the first episode that I think that just about anything had to be better. Surely, it couldn’t be as bad as the first, I thought. I was surprised to find that the show actually started showing a little heart and a small bit of reality. I actually found myself watching the third episode and so on. (Thanks to their episodes on their website) All of a sudden, I found that I was hooked!?!? I admit that I wasn’t expecting that at all. The main character Molly Kagan, played by Debra Messing, is a confused woman who’s trying to find her niche’ in life again. Sadly, her friends have enough of their own problems to fill many new episodes. Bottom line, this just goes to show you that the first episode of a brand new series doesn’t always predict its success. I recommend that you give the show a shot. It may have heart after all. If you want to take a look, go to http://www.usanetwork.com/fullepisodes/.

The Anal Detective

The other day we were watching a Monk on DVR and I paused it to make myself a refreshing Coke product. That is when I noticed that we were watching a very “special” epsiode of Monk. He is the anal retentive detective you know…Mister Monk and the Mystery if the NC-17

Still, kind of scary, not only did this come up as NC-17, but it did not ask me for a password or anything else. Guess the ratings are not what drives that, must be some other value the DVR is using for permissions. Meh, FIOS is buggy anyway.

Pokemon: Diamond & Pearl

First, let’s get a few things out of the way. I like women, I am married, I have a job (not just the glamorous Craptastictv gig), and I do not have any action figure collections. OK, now that we have that out of the way, let me just say this, I do not hate this series.

Pokemon, for those that might read this article the first thing after you have wakened from a 20 year coma, loosely means “Pocket Monsters” in Japanese (ポケットモンスター Poketto Monsutā). The object of the game is to collect the Pokemon, increase their powers and have them battle other Trainer’s Pokemon until you become the strongest Pokemon Trainer, the Pokemon Master.

I really tried to keep my kids away from the whole Pokemon thing for quite a few years. A cynical person might say that the point of Pokemon is to make money. Especially, since there are over 400+ of the little buggers (not Bug Type) and with every fresh installment they add a few more thus forcing the mindless Poke – Automatons to buy more games. To make it worse, each time they release a new Pokemon game they release it in two flavors with a few Pokemons that are unique to each. This is why it is not called Pokemon Diamond, but Diamond AND Pearl (and Pearl is the superior of the two).

Twins!The series now is about Ash, Brock (The Japanese Stewart French) and Dawn as they travel about the Sinnoh Region (don’t ask) exploring. The series is typical Japanese Anime, that is, very crappy animation which is the norm. Seriously, it looks terrible. I do like the style and colors, but the animation is atrocious. Static backgrounds, the people do not move when they talk-other than their mouths. I’m not sure if they even blink.

Another thing that I am so-so on is Team Rocket. They are in pretty much every episode and do something stupid every episode. It gets annoying. Still, I will give them style points for their awesome coifed hair and the clothes that they have. Not to mention they have about the only intelligently SPEAKING Pokemon on the series, Meowth. In addition, they have a Wobbuffet. Which I am so very ashamed to say that I find it to be quite funny and quirky.

That said, I do like this series. At least the ones that I have watched with my kids. I found the stories to be somewhat entertaining, certainly they do show quite a bit of imagination. And when I say imagination, I don’t mean just making up a bunch of odd names for this or silly landmarks like say… “Jay Jay the Jet Plane’s” Sparkleberry Tree, gah! Big Jake run me over please, if I have to watch that show again!

Oh, and I was right about my initial feeling towards it. Every time I watch this show with the kids I feel like going and playing Pokemon Pearl or Pokemon Ruby or Pokemon Battle Revolution…

The A-Team Movie

Director John Singleton said “I don’t know who is in the cast yet…but I do know that the only person I want right now is, that I really, really want is Woody Harrelson to play Murdock – the guy who is crazy but he’s kind of real smart, a jack of all trades. That’s the only person I really, really want.”

In a related story someone fell asleep on the couch.

Silly Monk

Hey, I like Monk and most of the time find it to be a clever show. I
know that sometimes the endings seem a bit contrived and I am fine
with that, as long as they are not to out there.

That said, maybe they are running out of ideas or have a new set of
writers that watched a bit too much Scooby-Doo when they were kids. I
swear, all that was missing was the bad guy saying “I would have
gotten away with it if it hadn’t been for that meddling Monk and his
partner”.

Anyway, this particular episode had perhaps the most idiotic thing I
have ever seen on the series. Some kids were skateboarding and the guy
fell and his board rolled into a parked car hitting the front bumper.
The car happened to have a dead guy in it, well when the captain came
and investigated the crime scene he noticed the scratch and said the
scratch was fresh, “just a few hours old”.

Now I have had idiots scratch and ding my car in the CraptasticTV
headquarters parking garage, but I have never been able to pin the
time so precisely. If the captain had said recently, yeah, I would
have been ok with it, but a few hours? HOW?

Anyway, hopefully this was just an isolated Monk and not the future.

Cavemen

Tuesday night I was feeling open minded and decided to take a chance on the new TV show “Cavemen”.  The GEICO commercials with the cavemen in them weren’t bad so I thought that it might be a safe bet.  Oh how wrong I was…

The three cavemen were hanging out at a Fruitberry Frozen yogurt-shop and not surprisingly, the girl behind the counter was the Cavegirl next door.  After what seemed like an eternity, the Cavegirl and one of the Cavemen were back at his crib going animal on each other.  I was speechless.

Man, it’s hard to shake that off!  It felt like the stink from a sweaty, wet dog!  I couldn’t watch it any more.  Train wrecks are one thing, but cavepeople doing the nasty on TV, no way! 

To say that the show was bad would be this week’s understatement!  The writing was terrible and I don’t know if I’ll ever get that smell out of my head! 

Bottom line, just say NO to “Cavemen”!

The Biggest Loser

I have to come out and say it, we as a society are idiots. We have to be idiots if this is what we are watching and calling entertainment. Despite what you are thinking right now I am not some sort of chiseled Adonis, I am tubby, but I would not want to make a show about me losing weight (unless something threw large amounts of cash at me to do so).

Here we have a show that in it’s essence is about people sitting on their couches/lazyboys/patio furniture watching fat people lose weight. It makes me wonder will we be seeing grass growing or paint drying competitions in the future?

Coming in the Fall of 2009 to NBC, “The Grass is Greener“, in a neighborhood with yards gone bad see which challengers grass will grow faster…

Losing weight, hey, I am all for it, but do we need to have the tension ratchet up like they do every week? Well yes actually, who the heck would watch it otherwise?

I came in on the weigh in portion, I have to ask myself, do we need to see such an array of “manboobs”? Some of the guys probably have nicer racks than the women do, just a lot more hair. Couldn’t they have them wear a Manzier or a Bro or a tank top?

I digress, if it was a 1/2 hour show, with them working out, maybe messing around and doing goofy stuff and then weighing in, I might be able to stomach it (get it, funny). Watching the trainers clinch their little metro-sexual fists and pump them furiously when their team wins, that is too much “tension”.

Opps, I am really losing interest in writing any more about this, avoid it like a diet menu at Dennys..