How I saved the flight out of BFE

I find Apple commercials to be insipid little pieces of living hell. The commercials are a bit too smug and self-righteous for my liking. I am sure the Mac-Faithful eat them up like a pig to swill, but for me they are annoying.

Anyways, the latest iPhone commercial centers on a pilot that is grounded due to bad weather. While waiting, he uses his iPhone to check the local weather conditions and discovers that the storms are passing. He notifies the tower (not sure if he used the iPhone or used the tin cup and string that his plane is equipped with?) that the storms are passing and that his plane can take off soon.

Let me get this straight. The PILOT is looking up weather data on his iPhone instead of using the high-tech data that is readily available to aviation professionals in general? Is he piloting a flying doghouse that he sits on top of?

Where is this airport that is so clueless about weather? Does the control tower have a rope hanging out on their back porch door with a sign that says:

If the rope is moving it is windy.
If the rope is wet then it is raining.
If the rope is dry it is sunny.
If you are reading this then welcome to BFE Airport, Gateway to ignorance.

Really, anyone that uses the internet with the iPhone knows how slow it is. Radar photos, especially animated ones are big. By the time the iPhone loads the image the season would have already changed. Perhaps he connected via Wi-Fi? Maybe the plane was near a Starbucks? Nah… what are the odds anyone would ever be that close to a Starbucks since they are so rare.

This commercial is just stupid! The iPhone is slick. No question there, but PLEASE do not insult my intelligence with this crap!

A helpful guide for discussing “ED” with your 8 year old.

A few weeks ago we were watching a football game and I did not mute the TV when the game went to a commercial. Unfortunately instead of seeing an oh-so rare Coors Light Commercial we were treated to a Cialis commercial.

I honestly do not remember which Cialis commercial it was. Just some shots of anxious guys eating dinner with nervous dates with hopeful “did he go to the pharmacy” looks on their faces.

While all this was going on the deep voiced announcer talked about the sad and serious business that is ED and how it can be addressed. So about this time my 8 year old son asked me, “Daddy, what is ED?”.

Great, this is REALLY what I want to talk about with my son. Don’t get me wrong, we have had talks with him about how all the plumbing works and what is what but do I really need to school my 8 year old on the intricacies of erectile dysfunction?

Maybe if I was a bit more politically correct and this was an ABC After School Special I would have paused the game and fetched a firm cucumber and explained how when the cucumber gets old it wrinkles up and can not be used in a hearty salad. When this happens the cucumber can only be made hard again via a “Pickling Processä”, where once again it can be used to liven up a salad (assuming it is Kosher).

As it stands I just said, “huh, what?”, and then answered NO, never heard of it and it will NEVER happen to me or you. Then we went outside and I practiced throwing a football through a tire swing, subtle…

Thanks guys!