Archive for November, 2007

Silly Monk

Thursday, November 15th, 2007

Hey, I like Monk and most of the time find it to be a clever show. I
know that sometimes the endings seem a bit contrived and I am fine
with that, as long as they are not to out there.

That said, maybe they are running out of ideas or have a new set of
writers that watched a bit too much Scooby-Doo when they were kids. I
swear, all that was missing was the bad guy saying “I would have
gotten away with it if it hadn’t been for that meddling Monk and his
partner”.

Anyway, this particular episode had perhaps the most idiotic thing I
have ever seen on the series. Some kids were skateboarding and the guy
fell and his board rolled into a parked car hitting the front bumper.
The car happened to have a dead guy in it, well when the captain came
and investigated the crime scene he noticed the scratch and said the
scratch was fresh, “just a few hours old”.

Now I have had idiots scratch and ding my car in the CraptasticTV
headquarters parking garage, but I have never been able to pin the
time so precisely. If the captain had said recently, yeah, I would
have been ok with it, but a few hours? HOW?

Anyway, hopefully this was just an isolated Monk and not the future.

WHY? Please no! The Day The Earth Stood Still remake

Wednesday, November 7th, 2007

WHY WHY WHY would ANYONE try and do a remake of the classic 1951 film
The Day The Earth Stood Still?

Serious why, what next, a remake of The Godfather?

You know there are two types of remakes that should never ever be
done. The first are movies that are so good to begin with it is
pointless to remake it, you will not be able to improve it, at best
the new version will just be passable.

The other type of movie is the one that was a loser to begin with,
Rollerball for instance, the original was nothing great, and gee, the
newer version, not even that.

Anyway, what is the point, when they announced this “project” the
writers were not on strike yet, so why recycle old material?

Jennifer Connelly will play the role of Helen Benson (played by
Patricia Neal in the original. Kathy Bates will also be in the movie,
no word yet on how long or graphic her obligatory nude scene will be.

To top it off, Mister Keanu Reeves will play Klatuu, I had him pegged
for the role as Robot #1. Guess he is being miscast.

The great thing is that you just know they will give the film a modern
spin, after all, not like he original film did not bring up a lot of
questions, but by golly, we can do better. And by better I really mean
make the questions be irrelevant and pointless, much like the film
will be. It is rumored that instead of Klatuu saying “klaatu barata
nikto” he will merely say “whoa”.

Well mark your calendars for this 2008 Crapfest coming to a theater
near you my dear reader!